IM Champs

The Alt-tab team started off with a few kids from Danforth and Beau that loved to play soccer and one day decided to make a team. The brilliance of Phil and Kevin brought Team Alt-Tab into existence. From there, we played rather inconsistently for the first year, eventually losing out to WashU United :-(.

In our 2nd year, we picked up a few rather talented young individuals, or rather we attempted to pick them up. Sadly, we got disqualified during one of our playoff matches because we had an illegal player. Much drama surrounded this DQ, seeing as how that illegal player scored no goals for us, AND we had already put in about 4 goals by the time he got there. We didn't even know he was an illegal player until later. Secondly, we were playing 11 players (skilled) versus 8 players (not skilled) and we were willing to drop our numbers down to 8 players to even the teams out. Needless to say, the other team got destroyed and humiliated by WashU United in the next round of playoffs. But we pulled ourselves back up and were even more determined to win what was rightfully ours, the IM t-shirt.

In our 3rd year of existence, we picked up yet again another group of highly skilled athletes. I thought this would have been our year, but we were knocked out in the first round of the playoffs. We worked hard that year, but our team still didn't gel. Hopefully the next year we kept on telling ourselves after the playoff defeat.

This year, our 4th year as a team, we finally succeeded. 4 clean sheets, allowing only 1 goal. We had a goal differential of 16, with our top goal scorer being Murtaza (4). Coaching this team was a lot of fun, drawing up formations and lineups, yelling at the refs, and playing outside every day. The players did amazing this year, and we prospered from that. Mad props to the team for sticking to their guns, powering their way through the opponents, and eventually scoring those crucial goals.

We finally did it. We, Alt-Tab, are IM Champions. And, may this continue for years to come. Once the seniors leave, it will be left to the underclassmen to continue the team if they so choose. I hope they do.

Goodbye undergrad soccer....*sigh* I'll miss you! I'm glad we're able to leave each other on such great terms!

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Through all of this, I have learned that time, dedication, and perseverance can produce fine results. However, patience in the heat of battle, quickness in thinking, preparedness, and the confidence to take risks can produce results beyond the imagination. Just some food for thought: in many ways, life is like a game of soccer. Give and go, patience, holding or running with the ball, defense and attack, never giving up for what you believe in or want, never succumbing to laziness or tiredness, etc etc.

Vita est....

You learn to cherish the good days because you know that they are the anomaly. They are the misfits among the pervasive bland, sad, and lonely mornings and evenings. Much like dreams, these good times are the times that are always forgotten. And just like dreams, one grasps for them, wishing to hold on forever, to live in that forbidden world of imagination, only to realize that they are but idealistic misconceptions of reality. As good times slip through the sieve created by fingertips and dreams begin to stink of rotting ideals, the usual, trite life returns to torment one's existence. But, if we were to nourish our dreams and bring it slowly back to health, then we discover that even the bad has its good. The dreams grow stronger, and the dreams become reality, no longer a figment of our deluded imagination. That is also when we discover that life is beautiful and that it is worth living.

In the wise words of Cicero: "Ut sementem feceris, its metes."

"Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day."

Repost : Give us clean hands

Here's to the end of what was the beginning. Here's to a new chapter in my life written in hands washed clean. I flip back and I see sweat, tears, and blood infused into the weaves of wooden mesh. Every new beginning starts with clean hands, but how they become dirty with constant wear! Thus, we must wash our hands clean of this filth that clouds our mind's eye. Such skewed logic, such distorted images of life, such altered ideas of living must be cast out. Leave behind only that which remains pure, still, and pristine. When your hands are sterile, what is left behind? I only see lines: lines of fate intertwined. These nice, neat arches and ridges that define the ups and downs of our life lead not to death but to a greater understanding of ourselves and the world we live in. So, in essence, we cannot wash away all the filth, all the dirt, all the contamination, we can only remove that thin layer of putrid, molding tarp and see exactly who we are. And, we'll realize that the life underneath that sheet of grime lays that which is shaped by the experiences which give us the messy sewage that infects our mind and heart.

Patience: A virtue?

What is patience? Isn't it the willingness to wait for something and to continue waiting through the hardships and struggles regardless of the outcome? But, even as I say this, I'm thinking to myself how much horseshit the "regardless of the outcome" part is of the poorly worded definition. Obviously, I want the outcome to be favorable for me. But, isn't that just wanting to control the situation? And, to what degree is this a bad thing? For me, its when the need to be patient consumes the entirety of my thoughts. It is when this need to be patient is causing me to have thoughts that create jealousy, rage, pain, or sadness. Then I just need to remind myself that what I'm feeling isn't what I really feel, instead, they are feelings brought about by the dark child that resides within me. The devil just sits there and whispers these thoughts in my head that make me question my actions, my motives, and even others. I realized that if I follow down that mindset that I end up overreacting and creating an even bigger mess. I guess I've learned to keep my mouth shut, but I can't seem to keep my mind silent.

So, I tried something today. When my mind started to wander, I breathed deeply and recited the Lord's prayer. As I turned my attention towards God, all those thoughts started to disappear. As I prayed for peace of heart, peace of mind, and as I let God fill my heart with His love, I could literally feel something leave me. I think it was that demon that was whispering to me. Funny thing was that I wasn't bothered for the rest of the night, even if my mind were to drift towards some topics I didn't want to tackle, I didn't start any mental spirals.

Anyways, what is impatience? A good friend told me recently that impatience is a form of unbelieve. Basically, you don't trust that God will handle that aspect of your life, thus, you want to have total control. Not just total control, but you also want to instruct God on how He should benefit your life. How crazy is that?! You telling God how your life should be lived. What a load of ridiculousness. Moreover, this lack of trust is just another indication that your will is not in alignment with God's will. This aspect of your life that you can't trust God with is the one thing that you hold in highest regard or what would be the satisfaction of your life.

So, I guess, that trust in God leads to patience. So is patience a virtue? Sure. But patience is also accepting the course God has planned for you.

For me, I need to keep reminding myself that God has His plan for me. Its in regards to something specific, but I'd rather not divulge what it is.

All of my life done for His glory, and may it always be so. I am but a vessel.

Profound right?

Music that touches the heart (repost from 1/31/2009)

Here goes another one of those nights where one song keeps you awake, replaying over and over again…Sometimes you want it to just stop; stop it from bringing back memories that are repressed; stop it from making tonight yet another sleepless night. You try and hold on to your sanity, grasping on to every strand of meaningless material in your head, just hoping that you will not get lost in those wistful memories of years past. As your eyes begin to cloud over with thought of yesteryear, you realize that what you dread the most was not those memories resurfacing, but those memories once again becoming reality. You see where you will be and what you will become. You see yourself without that façade, the evil mask that has hidden your true identity.

From behind the ephemeral strings of memories that cage your soul, you scream for help….help to solve your problems, to understand the meaning of your pitiful existence. You try and understand why you are lost, lost within the metaphysical. While seeking the truth about life, you find that you are unfit to bear this charge. All you see is not what life has to give but what life has failed to give. You see the faults that have defined who you are, but you have failed to accept that this identity is truly yours. In the people that surround you, you find qualities that make them superior to yourself whether it is in the physical or in the mental.

You try to be like them, and the harder you try, the harder you seem to fail. All just to be noticed for once. The more you conform to society, the more invisible you become to those around you. You used to believe that being like those around you will make you stand out more; that it will have others view you as you see them view your idols. In the end, you are just another person who has blended into the background of normalcy. You hope to impress, but all you have done is degrade yourself. You want to be someone to rely on, but all you have become is someone who does not know his own skin. You want to be a good person, but all you have done is shown your faults. You want to show that you can love, but all you see is hate.

All you want to do is find where you belong and what makes you special. As you attempt to find this, you realize that what was most important, slowly yet surely, falls away into the deep, dark crevice of memory. Finding the light necessary to fully illuminate this cave of despair and reveal all that was and is good will take time…and in this time, you will listen to music to soothe the soul. But once again, you find yourself thinking about what has been, what is, and what will be. This vicious cycle reveals to you that the bright light has always been there. It is the light that shows you these memories; it is the light that reminds you of who you are; it is the light that defines you. The light…the music...as one.