I've tried so hard to live up
to expectation
A son to the first born son to the family name
my growth has been defined by tradition
Cousins and friends look to me
as mentor, idol or compatriot, rarely as competition
Thus, I suppress all anomalies
afraid of my own rotting condition
Told to live in my own skin
none around know of my mutation
Walk covered and scared to show
the scales and scars marking my ugly disposition
Even so, from who I was to who I am
I make use no excuses for my ambition
Working hard to achieve set goals
the future me knows no personal satiation
Refusing to allow others to define
my life, my goals, my self, my mission
Striving to be a better man
with morals and wisdom as ammunition
Told that professorship yields meager
better yet to be a clinician, no erudition
Shown the door by women I chase
my love life a constant audition
Playing sports and keeping fit
personal health a constant motivation
Slowly I am finding myself
called away from external precondition
Agonizingly I am accepting
that my actions and my words are of my own volition
Lastly, through my own admission,
this sorry exposition is a cheap rendition of my soul's malnutrition
